Bon voyage to me!

So, tomorrow afternoon I'm off to Aiken. I'll be tearing down the computer this afternoon, so I'll be without web access for a little bit more than 24 hours. I'll still be able to check email through my phone, so if y'all want to talk to me, that is completely do-able; just don't expect any returns of email during that time, as pounding out numbers to make words is really, really trying. :)

If I've got your email address, you can expect an email shortly with my new snail-mail address. If I don't have your email address, or you're not sure if I have it or not, why not drop me a line? Here, in spambot safe format, it is: glassrope [at] gmail [dot] com. Replace the stuff in brackets with the appropriate punctuation, pull out the spaces, and you've got it.

Anyway, thanks to all of you for all of the encouragement I've been receiving over the past few weeks. I can't really put into words how much it means to me, so I won't even try. Trust me, though, it's a whole hell of a lot.

See y'all on Friday for the shuffle.

Shufflin' update

A day late, but here's the weekly iPod Shuffle:

1. "The Sermon on the Mount 2" - William S. Burroughs
2. "Rhythm Section Want Ad" - They Might Be Giants
3. "Till My Head Falls Off" - They Might Be Giants
4. "Mister Superstar" - Marilyn Manson
5. "Thirteen" - Big Star
6. "Circle of Cysquatch" - Mastodon
7. "Opus for Four" - The Art of Noise
8. "Particle Man" - They Might Be Giants
9. "Dr. Benway's House" - William S. Burroughs (actually, it's Sonic Youth, but it's from WSB's album and the iPod just lists the album artist)
10. "The Belldog" - Eno, Moebius, Roedelius
11. "Champagne Supernova" - Oasis
12. "Taxman" - The Beatles
13. "Counterpoint" - The Art of Noise
14. "Naked Lunch Excerpts" - William S. Burroughs
15. "Perdido (Live)" - Dave Brubeck

Now, for the update part.

For years, too many for me to accurately count, I've been seriously depressed. I've chalked this depression up to my situation: crappy jobs, stress from non-crappy jobs, relationships, loneliness, lack of money—basically all the pressures and responsibilities of life—normal life, mind you—I've assumed have been too dire to bear and have been the cause of my depression. "If I could only get a break," I've thought to myself countless times, "I'd be able to get out of this hole and take time for some joy." And, sometimes because my energy was sapped by anhedonia, sometimes because I was paralyzed by anxiety, I have failed to make any truly significant changes in my life.

Recently the thought crossed my mind that I had things backwards: maybe my depression wasn't caused by my situation; maybe my depression was causing my situation. I know, I'm a genius of the obvious!

Anyway, I've decided to treat the depression: I've stopped drinking (a depressant, naturally), switched to decaf coffee (anxiety causing stimulant, that) and have been prescribed an anti-depressant, which I started taking last Monday. So far, so good: I've had some of the side-effects listed on the bottle, but they're all manageable and I've been told by good friends taking similar medications that they go away in a couple weeks. Depression-wise, I don't really feel much better just yet, but I know that it takes a bit for the medication to take effect, and if there's one thing chronic oscillation of depression and anxiety has taught me it's patience. I'm willing to wait, if for no other reason than, this time, I'm waiting with hope in mind.

So, there's that. Now, here's this: I've tapped out Jacksonville. I've been here for over a year and have made precisely zero friends. Plus, my apartment complex is raising my rent to the point where I honestly can't afford it. I've just barely kept my head above water this last year and I won't be able to make it another year. So I'm moving back to Aiken. Chris & Kate have very generously offered me a place to stay, and I'm eternally grateful to them. More than that, though, Chris & Kate are offering me regular, friendly human contact, and I love them for it.

So, that's it. Big changes are in progress. I probably will be incommunicado for a few days, here. But I'll at least be back next Friday for the shuffle.

Promise.

iPod time

Because I'm up and tomorrow looks to be a big, busy day, I'm getting this thing done early.

1. "Like Herod" - Mogwai
2. "Go" - Pearl Jam
3. "Up Against (Blackout)" - Taking Back Sunday
4. "Missouri Waltz" - Johnny Cash
5. "Once" - Pearl Jam
6. "Coolsong (Smells Good)" - Old American
7. "Crystal Skull" - Mastodon
8. "1000 Umbrellas" - XTC
9. "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" - The Beatles
10. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" - The Beatles
11. "Outside World" - XTC
12. "Sgt. Rock (Is Going To Help Me)" - XTC
13. "Gnik Nus" - The Beatles
14. "Smile" - Pearl Jam
15. "It Takes One To Know Me" - Johnny Cash

Okay, that was weird.

I think I'm going to let Uncle Bill sing me to sleep. G'night.

Happy Valentine's Day

I'm working through some personal problems; hence, not a lot of posting. I'm not going to go into details about it. I'm okay, for the moment, too, so don't go worrying and such if you are so inclined. Once I've had a few conversations with some people, I'll pop back in and update for real. Until then, enjoy this:

Point-Counterpoint: This Man Obviously Has Substance Abuse Problems And No Capacity To Love vs. But You Love Him!

POINT
It is time to face facts: Your boyfriend has nothing to offer you. He is a mean drunk, a liar, a cheater, and an emotional drain. He contributes nothing to your life but added stress and self-doubt. You have been together five months and he wants to move in, but never once has he said "I love you," and he never even refers to you as his girlfriend. Clearly, he only wants to live with you because he is two months behind in his rent and is about to get evicted.…

COUNTERPOINT
None of that other stuff should matter when you love somebody.… Just think of how cute your babies will be!… Whatever you do, don't let go!…

Truth = humor.

Hope those of you with significant others have a very happy Valentine's Day. For those of you without, here are my thoughts on this, the most arbitrary of modern holidays.

What the hell

It's technically Friday, I'm still conscious and, god knows, I've posted enough crap since I woke up, so let's just go ahead and get that iPod Shuffle out of the way, shall we?

1. "Faith In You" - Matthew Sweet
2. "Can't Stand It" - Wilco
3. "Radharc" - Dead Can Dance
4. "Be Quick Or Be Dead" - Iron Maiden
5. "Bourree" - Leo Kottke
6. "Piano Fighter" - Warren Zevon
7. "Play It All Night Long" - Warren Zevon
8. "Not About Love" - Fiona Apple
9. "Tymps (The Sick In The Head Song)" - Fiona Apple
10. "Vicarious Atonement" - The Mars Volta
11. "15 Minutes" - The Strokes
12. "Back In The U.S.S.R." - The Beatles
13. "Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd
14. "Birdhouse In Your Soul" - They Might Be Giants
15. "(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais" - The Clash

And, on that happy note, I'll hit the hay.

R.I.P. diet pill spokes-tits…er, -model

Truer words have never been spoken…especially if you've seen Welcome to the Dollhouse:

Steve Rodgers: Special people?
Dawn Weiner: Yeah.
Steve Rodgers: Do you know what "special people" means?
Dawn Weiner: What?
Steve Rodgers: Special people equals retarded. Your club is for retards.

Man, I sure am glad I haven't started up this TrimSpa regimen yet. I really dodged a bullet there.

In case you've been wondering

And, what with recent events in the astronaut community, who hasn't?

Have astronauts ever had sex in space?

In the 1990s, rumors circulated about unorthodox coziness between Elena Kondakova and Valery Polyakov on a mission to the space station Mir, especially after a video got out showing Valery playfully splashing water on Elena during the flight.

Elena and Valery? Whoa! That sounds hot!

Oh, wait…Valery is a guy's name in Russia. That's…er, well…not quite as hot.

Which raises the question: Would space sex be any good? Recent research suggests it would not. For one thing, zero gravity can induce nausea—a less-than-promising sign for would-be lovers. Astronauts also perspire a lot in flight, meaning sex without gravity would likely be hot, wet, and surrounded by small droplets of sweat. In addition, people normally experience lower blood pressure in space, which means reduced blood flow, which means…well, you know what that means.

Hmmm…hot, wet, queasy and only semi-hard? Doesn't sound that much different from sex on earth, really.

Great interview

Anybody interested in the band XTC or Andy Partridge or just good music interviews in general should check out the Onion A.V. Club's latest interview.

A.V. Club: [We] recently did a feature weighing the possibility of various bands making the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. We said XTC wouldn't make it. Do you think it will?

Andy Partridge: I hope not! Hard Rock Café sent a letter asking if they could have one of my guitars. I just said, "Fuck off! Of course not, I bought that, you go buy one."

Brilliant!

It's Jerry Springer's world...

...and we're all just living in it.

That was my first thought when I woke up this morning and saw Clint's most recent post. Of course, I did some research of my own, as well:

Astronaut accused of attempted murder

ORLANDO, Florida (Reuters)–A married U.S. astronaut was accused of attempted murder and trying to kidnap a rival for another astronaut's affections on Tuesday, and held in jail.

U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, who flew on the space shuttle Discovery last July, drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando—wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate—to assault a woman she considered competition for the affections of a male astronaut, police said.…

Nowak went to Orlando airport around midnight on Sunday night, waited for Shipman's flight from Houston to arrive and then followed Shipman to the parking garage armed with pepper spray, a steel mallet and a BB gun, police said.

She also carried black gloves, a folding knife with a 4-inch (10-cm) blade, rubber tubing and trash bags, police said.…

In [her] statement, Nowak described her connection to male astronaut Bill Oefelein as "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship."…

In a search of Nowak's car, police…discovered a letter describing how much Nowak loved Oefelein, e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein and directions to Shipman's house.

Now, like Clint, I also wanted to be an astronaut when I was growing up and I have the same sort of halo effect around them: astronauts are cool, unflappable men and women who are like unto deities walking the earth when they're not actually soaring above it. To have one of them acting like she should be up on Jerry Springer's stage attempting to rip the blouse off the "ho" who's been "[bleep]ing around with her [bleep]ing man" has really shaken my faith in humanity.

One of the other things that really gets to me: look at those two photos up there. Hell, look at the entire slideshow. That picture up there on the left is the portrait of an attractive, successful, well-educated middle-aged woman who went over the edge because of a man. I mean, come on…haven't we as a society grown past the whole Fatal Attraction myth of successful psycho-harpies?

I don't know…when someone who looks like that, has an amazing job and who, just last summer, seemed like a reasonably well adjusted human being becomes so unhappy that she chucks everything—her marriage, her career, her sanity—to go on some kind of crazylove-fueled vengeance quest when there must be a couple hundred-thousand guys—including me—who would be thrilled and honored just to go on a date with her? I'm obviously missing something, somewhere, because I just don't get it.

I also, for some reason, worry very much about her teen-aged son. I mean, it's weird enough to be at that age where you're learning about sex and it's weirder still when you come to that realization that it's something your parents must do, but to add the image of your mom racing like a bat down I-10, marinating in her own piss for a thousand miles so she can off the competition in her extra-marital affair? Nightmares, man. Nightmares.

Music

First off, Ye Olde Friday iPod shuffle!

1. "Safari" - The Breeders
2. "I Am The Walrus" - The Beatles
3. "Pot Kettle Black" - Wilco
4. "Back In The U.S.S.R." - The Beatles
5. "One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces" - Ben Folds Five
6. "Only People" - John Lennon
7. "Girl" - Beck
8. "Take It Off" - Dick Dale
9. "Piku" - The Chemical Brothers
10. "Tempted" - Squeeze
11. "Beat On The Brat" - U2
12. "Straight Outta Compton" - N.W.A.
13. "Piggies" - The Beatles
14. "Misunderstood" - Dream Theater
15. "When Shrimps Learn To Whistle" - Leo Kottke

Ah, very nice! only 26.667% of the random songs had something to do with The Beatles!

So, today I finally had a chance, with my brother, to get out and see Children of Men. If, at this late date, you've not had a chance to see it, I urge you to do so. Seriously, it's brilliant. I got thinking about some of the film's themes and how they tie in with some of the other media I've been fond of lately. So, possibly tomorrow I'll delve into some thoughts on sex, isolation, love and apocalypse, and some personal observations concerning the effects forgoing one and embracing another may have on the perception of the final two. Sounds exciting, no?

I'd write it tonight, but I want to think about it a bit more. Plus, the movies I've checked out from the library expire soon, and I really want to watch High Noon at least once, possibly twice.