Y'all should re-read my profile. It's over there----->
I start June 11. I could be happier, honestly, but I'm too happy to care right now.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
A dangerous precedent…
I mean, as if today's kids aren't spoiled enough.
Although this will completely negate the classic teen-angst complaint "I never asked to be born!"
'I live at Bedlam & Squalor'
"Fernwood 2Nite" + Special Surprise Guest = Legendary TV!
Thanks to Jason for calling this to my attention. I love it.
Thanks to Jason for calling this to my attention. I love it.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Okay, this is hot!
This is brand new to me, but thoroughly neat!
Triple click any word in a New York Times Online story, and it immediately opens a new window with a "query" page, giving definitions, idioms, synonyms, etc. For instance, triple click the word press in a nytimes.com story and watch a window pop with this in it.
Brilliant!
Triple click any word in a New York Times Online story, and it immediately opens a new window with a "query" page, giving definitions, idioms, synonyms, etc. For instance, triple click the word press in a nytimes.com story and watch a window pop with this in it.
Brilliant!
How I spent Mother's Day
Short answer: I worked. It was really, really dull.
Slightly longer answer: Electronics are, even in the 21st century, not the gift of choice for moms on Mother's Day, so I spent most of my time hanging out with these two:
That's Kelly on the left (she's in fourth grade) and Karen on the right (she's in seventh grade). Their mom and dad work at the manicure place a couple stores down from mine and―because where electronics aren't popular Mother's Day gifts, manicures and pedicures apparently are―she and her husband were very busy and brought the girls to work with them today. Between riding their skateboards up and down the sidewalk out front and trying to get Habbo to work on our customer computer, they spent most of their time in politely inquisitive (and frankly charming) conversation with me. How did I get so lucky? I have no idea.
It's funny…now that I'm officially old, I sort of regret not having kids of my own. I enjoyed the company of two little girls more than I did the company of my co-workers and a good 90% of my customers today. I think that might mean I'd make a pretty decent dad. The way things are going, though, I don't think I'm going to have a chance to find out.
Eh…whatever. I get to be the "cool uncle." That should be good enough for me.
Slightly longer answer: Electronics are, even in the 21st century, not the gift of choice for moms on Mother's Day, so I spent most of my time hanging out with these two:
That's Kelly on the left (she's in fourth grade) and Karen on the right (she's in seventh grade). Their mom and dad work at the manicure place a couple stores down from mine and―because where electronics aren't popular Mother's Day gifts, manicures and pedicures apparently are―she and her husband were very busy and brought the girls to work with them today. Between riding their skateboards up and down the sidewalk out front and trying to get Habbo to work on our customer computer, they spent most of their time in politely inquisitive (and frankly charming) conversation with me. How did I get so lucky? I have no idea.
It's funny…now that I'm officially old, I sort of regret not having kids of my own. I enjoyed the company of two little girls more than I did the company of my co-workers and a good 90% of my customers today. I think that might mean I'd make a pretty decent dad. The way things are going, though, I don't think I'm going to have a chance to find out.
Eh…whatever. I get to be the "cool uncle." That should be good enough for me.
Nightmares
German man found after 7 years dead in bed - Reuters
I know this sort of thing is reported pretty frequently, always making the "News of the Weird" or the filler material you see at the end of Headline News' 30-Minute cycle, and I see the dark humor of it, but it really does chill me.
I know this sort of thing is reported pretty frequently, always making the "News of the Weird" or the filler material you see at the end of Headline News' 30-Minute cycle, and I see the dark humor of it, but it really does chill me.
"No one missed him. No missing person report was ever filed," the police said.It's my greatest fear: not just to die alone, but to die alone and have no one even notice.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Um…oops?
Brownback disses Favre in front of fans - MSNBC.com
Man…this guy just sunk all hopes of being elected anything by anybody in Wisconsin. Way to alienate everybody, Sam!
The thing that irritates me the most, though, is that he was obviously just sucking up to the crowd.
*crickets chirping*
The second part is funny mostly because it's true.
Man…this guy just sunk all hopes of being elected anything by anybody in Wisconsin. Way to alienate everybody, Sam!
The thing that irritates me the most, though, is that he was obviously just sucking up to the crowd.
“Let’s take Favre then,” Brownback said. “The Packers are great. I’m sorry. How many passes does he complete without a line?”See, the first part is Mr. Brownback trying to give the impression that he's with his audience on this whole "Packer thing." "I like football," he seems to be saying, "because I know that all of you really like football! Right? Who's with me?"
“All of them!” more than one person yelled from the back.
*crickets chirping*
The second part is funny mostly because it's true.
Friday, May 11, 2007
It's like Photography 101…
…only with no teacher and absolutely no shame!
First, though, the shuffle:
My friend Sean—who is a talented, burgeoning professional photographer—has berated me, in a good-natured fashion, for ever using the "AUTO" setting on a camera, implying that "AUTO" is only used by tourists and simpletons. So, the past couple of days I've been messing around with things like "apertures" and "shutter speeds."
Now, honestly, I don't know an f-stop from a half-step, but I do have a lot of time to experiment, plenty of patience, no illusions about my photographic ability and, since I'm using a digital camera, no costs for film. Consequently, I've been challenging myself: use no flash and no "AUTO." And, because I'm self-indulgent by nature and honestly don't know any better, I'm going to challenge y'all, as well.
No, no…I meant challenge your patience; y'all can use your cameras however you please.
Oh, yeah! A ratty old sneaker! Kick ass!
Actually, there was a method to my madness, here. I was shooting in the hour before sunset (i.e. "The Golden Hour") and I wanted to see if I could capture some of that quality of light. So, I spent about 15 minutes goofing around with the camera settings and taking pictures of leaves and stuff. The results were okay, but the subject matter seemed even duller than an old sneaker. So you get the shoe.
This is where the true meaning of the phrase "shutter speed" finally sank in and I realized that four seconds with the shutter on is, essentially, an eternity. I spent two seconds on my knee, then pivoted up to get some pictures of other stuff. This is what came out.
Warning: Dizzying Abstractions Ahead.
I wasn't kidding when I said "dizzying": this was taken while spinning around on a tire swing. I actually took about 8 of these shots. Then I began to feel a little queasy.
So, yeah. That's a frisbee golf hole in the foreground and a gas station in the background. I found that, when using very slow shutter speeds and trying to take pictures of things that don't look like a scene from that "LSD: It Will Make You Try To Fly Out A Window" movie from ninth-grade health class, a tripod is absolutely necessary. I forgot my tripod. This was the best shot I got from lying on a metal picnic table. I went home with a criss-cross pattern on my face and the firm resolution that I would never leave my tripod at home again.
Okay, those shots I took Wednesday night. On Thursday night, my friend Jason had a gig playing drums down in Augusta at The Renaissance Pub. I tagged along, drank some sodas and took some pictures.
Ah, yes…the obligatory rear-view mirror shot. A sneaky self-portrait, plus a shot of my cool camera and…er, well, a crappy roadside sign. And The Royal Inn.
Okay, not actually very impressive. But you can totally read the "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" blurb. On the full-resolution version. Not this one.
Moving on:
Somebody who presumably works at The Renaissance Pub was doing figure sketches between strenuous bouts of mopping. I like that.
While Jason was assembling his drums, I fell in love with this blurry little lamp/sofa vignette. Actually, the sofa wasn't blurry in-and-of-itself; remember when I said I'd never leave my tripod at home again? I left my tripod at home. Again. Please keep that in mind when we get to some of the other shots.
Ah, neon. Sweet, sweet
Neon. You always look so
Neat. How I love you.
I give you the performance! With no tripod and a predilection for using slow shutter speeds, I quickly found that people were impossible to keep in focus. Being adaptable, I decided I'd hold very still and make sure objects like chairs, lamps and pool tables were in focus, and to hell with the people. Of the countless pictures I took, these are the least offensive to the eyes. And the people I was ostensibly taking pictures of.
Tell me those green lamps don't look great, though.
So, there's my adventure in amateur-photographic n00bery. Tonight, while shooting at the park, I discovered that my camera has an "ISO" setting. I'm not sure what that means, but I know what it does: when you crank it all the way up, it makes previously pitch-black shots much brighter. It also makes things grainy and crappy looking. However, I'll be checking it out on my next outing.
First, though, the shuffle:
- "White Lexus" - Mike Doughty
- "Song for the Dumped" - Ben Folds Five
- "Sgt. Rock (Is Going To Help Me)" - XTC
- "Block Rockin' Beats" - The Chemical Brothers
- "Shinin'" - Brad
- "Don't Stay Home" - 311
- "Sometime to Return" - Soul Asylum
- "Kiss Me, Son of God" - They Might Be Giants
- "Zero" - The Smashing Pumpkins
- "Love At First Sight" - XTC
- "No More Stalins, No More Hitlers" - William S. Burroughs
- "Casino Queen" - Wilco
- "Rockin' The Suburbs" - Ben Folds
- "Mrs. Robinson" - Simon & Garfunkel
- "Fly (Featuring Super Cat)" - Sugar Ray
My friend Sean—who is a talented, burgeoning professional photographer—has berated me, in a good-natured fashion, for ever using the "AUTO" setting on a camera, implying that "AUTO" is only used by tourists and simpletons. So, the past couple of days I've been messing around with things like "apertures" and "shutter speeds."
Now, honestly, I don't know an f-stop from a half-step, but I do have a lot of time to experiment, plenty of patience, no illusions about my photographic ability and, since I'm using a digital camera, no costs for film. Consequently, I've been challenging myself: use no flash and no "AUTO." And, because I'm self-indulgent by nature and honestly don't know any better, I'm going to challenge y'all, as well.
No, no…I meant challenge your patience; y'all can use your cameras however you please.
Oh, yeah! A ratty old sneaker! Kick ass!
Actually, there was a method to my madness, here. I was shooting in the hour before sunset (i.e. "The Golden Hour") and I wanted to see if I could capture some of that quality of light. So, I spent about 15 minutes goofing around with the camera settings and taking pictures of leaves and stuff. The results were okay, but the subject matter seemed even duller than an old sneaker. So you get the shoe.
This is where the true meaning of the phrase "shutter speed" finally sank in and I realized that four seconds with the shutter on is, essentially, an eternity. I spent two seconds on my knee, then pivoted up to get some pictures of other stuff. This is what came out.
Warning: Dizzying Abstractions Ahead.
I wasn't kidding when I said "dizzying": this was taken while spinning around on a tire swing. I actually took about 8 of these shots. Then I began to feel a little queasy.
So, yeah. That's a frisbee golf hole in the foreground and a gas station in the background. I found that, when using very slow shutter speeds and trying to take pictures of things that don't look like a scene from that "LSD: It Will Make You Try To Fly Out A Window" movie from ninth-grade health class, a tripod is absolutely necessary. I forgot my tripod. This was the best shot I got from lying on a metal picnic table. I went home with a criss-cross pattern on my face and the firm resolution that I would never leave my tripod at home again.
Okay, those shots I took Wednesday night. On Thursday night, my friend Jason had a gig playing drums down in Augusta at The Renaissance Pub. I tagged along, drank some sodas and took some pictures.
Ah, yes…the obligatory rear-view mirror shot. A sneaky self-portrait, plus a shot of my cool camera and…er, well, a crappy roadside sign. And The Royal Inn.
Okay, not actually very impressive. But you can totally read the "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" blurb. On the full-resolution version. Not this one.
Moving on:
Somebody who presumably works at The Renaissance Pub was doing figure sketches between strenuous bouts of mopping. I like that.
While Jason was assembling his drums, I fell in love with this blurry little lamp/sofa vignette. Actually, the sofa wasn't blurry in-and-of-itself; remember when I said I'd never leave my tripod at home again? I left my tripod at home. Again. Please keep that in mind when we get to some of the other shots.
Ah, neon. Sweet, sweet
Neon. You always look so
Neat. How I love you.
I give you the performance! With no tripod and a predilection for using slow shutter speeds, I quickly found that people were impossible to keep in focus. Being adaptable, I decided I'd hold very still and make sure objects like chairs, lamps and pool tables were in focus, and to hell with the people. Of the countless pictures I took, these are the least offensive to the eyes. And the people I was ostensibly taking pictures of.
Tell me those green lamps don't look great, though.
So, there's my adventure in amateur-photographic n00bery. Tonight, while shooting at the park, I discovered that my camera has an "ISO" setting. I'm not sure what that means, but I know what it does: when you crank it all the way up, it makes previously pitch-black shots much brighter. It also makes things grainy and crappy looking. However, I'll be checking it out on my next outing.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Lucky again!
Had the day off today and, big surprise, I went out and played with my camera. Here's the lucky shot (i.e. the one that turned out awesome when I wasn't even trying):
I swear to god, that duck is smiling!
My new camera shoots 7.1 mega-pixels and has a 10x optical zoom, which is why I picked it up. It allows me to get some serious detail. Witness:
That's a detail from the smiling duck shot up above. I am stunned by this camera―stunned and awed. Here are some of my runners-up:
Mushrooms! Woo!
Anyway, the reason I went out with the camera today was, ostensibly, because my mom wants pictures of me for Mother's Day. I have a tripod and a 10-second timer, so I figured I should be able to snap some pretty decent shots. I'm not sure that I succeeded on the decent part, but I did manage some self-portraits:
Yup, that's me in the water. Sorry about the weird facial expressions, but today was windy and that water was cold! Those were down at the dam in Graniteville; these next are from Hopeland Gardens:
I think that last one is the way I look in my head, when I bother to think of myself. However, I'll send them all to Mom and let her decide.
I swear to god, that duck is smiling!
My new camera shoots 7.1 mega-pixels and has a 10x optical zoom, which is why I picked it up. It allows me to get some serious detail. Witness:
That's a detail from the smiling duck shot up above. I am stunned by this camera―stunned and awed. Here are some of my runners-up:
Mushrooms! Woo!
Anyway, the reason I went out with the camera today was, ostensibly, because my mom wants pictures of me for Mother's Day. I have a tripod and a 10-second timer, so I figured I should be able to snap some pretty decent shots. I'm not sure that I succeeded on the decent part, but I did manage some self-portraits:
Yup, that's me in the water. Sorry about the weird facial expressions, but today was windy and that water was cold! Those were down at the dam in Graniteville; these next are from Hopeland Gardens:
I think that last one is the way I look in my head, when I bother to think of myself. However, I'll send them all to Mom and let her decide.
Details and composition
So, took the new camera out on Saturday night to play with it a bit more. Of about 70 or so, I got these two that I like.
The first one is, obviously, a goofy little still-life with iPod case and phone. I really like the detail of the leather-grain on the iPod case. And, yes, I go out—by myself, on weekend nights—empty my pockets onto metal picnic tables and take pictures of the contents. I have no life.
I have no excuse for the second one, except to say that I like the color orange and I think the various shapes in that shot are interesting.
The first one is, obviously, a goofy little still-life with iPod case and phone. I really like the detail of the leather-grain on the iPod case. And, yes, I go out—by myself, on weekend nights—empty my pockets onto metal picnic tables and take pictures of the contents. I have no life.
I have no excuse for the second one, except to say that I like the color orange and I think the various shapes in that shot are interesting.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Shufflè Soufflè!
Take one sexy, new camera:
Mix in one bottle of sports drink, one tripod carrying bag and one park bench under an arc-sodium light:
Add one bored, middle-aged man:
Bake at 85° for 15 songs…
Serve with a side of "ZOMFG sUCH a KEWT cAT!1!!one!1!!eleven!!"
Mix in one bottle of sports drink, one tripod carrying bag and one park bench under an arc-sodium light:
Add one bored, middle-aged man:
Bake at 85° for 15 songs…
- "Mighty Long Way" - Fishbone
- "Rocket From A Bottle" - XTC
- "Cyclops Rock" - They Might Be Giants
- "Jellybelly" - The Smashing Pumpkins
- "Cowgirl In The Sand" - Neil Young & Crazy Horse
- "Devil's Haircut" - Beck
- "We Care A Lot" - Faith No More
- "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" - Cake
- "Rearrange" - God Lives Underwater
- "Bang A Gong (Get It On)" - Marc Bolan & T. Rex
- "Fortunate Son" - Creedence Clearwater Revival
- "Oily Night" - Tom Waits
- "Kill the Badger!" - William S. Burroughs
- "The Guitar Man" - Cake
- "War Pigs" - Faith No More
Serve with a side of "ZOMFG sUCH a KEWT cAT!1!!one!1!!eleven!!"
Voilà! One semi-pretentious shuffle/photo soufflè!
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