St. Valentine's Day mass suicide pact fears
My favorite part? Right here:
"He invited them to engage in certain sexual acts with them, and then they were to hang themselves naked from a beam in his house. He was indicating in these chat groups that he had a beam and that it would hold multiple people."What. The. Fuck? I'm honestly saddened that people can get so lonely as to even entertain the notion of going to some complete stranger's house, having sex with this person, then dangling from a beam with a few other complete strangers. I mean, for fuck's sake people, it's a god-damned made up holiday! Thing was invented by some marketing genius at Hallmark who had too much red ink and tulle lying around after Christmas and realized that February was a long, depressing month that otherwise didn't lend itself to selling fucking cards. Seriously, I'm no expert in hagiography, but I'm reasonably sure that the Christian Saint Valentine did his best to distance himself from the Roman deity Cupid.
Call me nuts, but I'm not about to get wrapped up in worrying about something so obviously contrived.
Oh, by the way, lonely desperate women out there? Drop by my apartment any time. I can't guarantee sex, but I will give you a snack and chat with you if you like. And rest assured, hanging naked by the neck from a beam will not be on the agenda.
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