It's like Photography 101…

…only with no teacher and absolutely no shame!

First, though, the shuffle:

1. "White Lexus" - Mike Doughty
2. "Song for the Dumped" - Ben Folds Five
3. "Sgt. Rock (Is Going To Help Me)" - XTC
4. "Block Rockin' Beats" - The Chemical Brothers
5. "Shinin'" - Brad
6. "Don't Stay Home" - 311
7. "Sometime to Return" - Soul Asylum
8. "Kiss Me, Son of God" - They Might Be Giants
9. "Zero" - The Smashing Pumpkins
10. "Love At First Sight" - XTC
11. "No More Stalins, No More Hitlers" - William S. Burroughs
12. "Casino Queen" - Wilco
13. "Rockin' The Suburbs" - Ben Folds
14. "Mrs. Robinson" - Simon & Garfunkel
15. "Fly (Featuring Super Cat)" - Sugar Ray

Wow, that makes me feel better. Now on to the photos!

My friend Sean—who is a talented, burgeoning professional photographer—has berated me, in a good-natured fashion, for ever using the "AUTO" setting on a camera, implying that "AUTO" is only used by tourists and simpletons. So, the past couple of days I've been messing around with things like "apertures" and "shutter speeds."

Now, honestly, I don't know an f-stop from a half-step, but I do have a lot of time to experiment, plenty of patience, no illusions about my photographic ability and, since I'm using a digital camera, no costs for film. Consequently, I've been challenging myself: use no flash and no "AUTO." And, because I'm self-indulgent by nature and honestly don't know any better, I'm going to challenge y'all, as well.

No, no…I meant challenge your patience; y'all can use your cameras however you please.



Oh, yeah! A ratty old sneaker! Kick ass!

Actually, there was a method to my madness, here. I was shooting in the hour before sunset (i.e. "The Golden Hour") and I wanted to see if I could capture some of that quality of light. So, I spent about 15 minutes goofing around with the camera settings and taking pictures of leaves and stuff. The results were okay, but the subject matter seemed even duller than an old sneaker. So you get the shoe.



This is where the true meaning of the phrase "shutter speed" finally sank in and I realized that four seconds with the shutter on is, essentially, an eternity. I spent two seconds on my knee, then pivoted up to get some pictures of other stuff. This is what came out.

Warning: Dizzying Abstractions Ahead.



I wasn't kidding when I said "dizzying": this was taken while spinning around on a tire swing. I actually took about 8 of these shots. Then I began to feel a little queasy.



So, yeah. That's a frisbee golf hole in the foreground and a gas station in the background. I found that, when using very slow shutter speeds and trying to take pictures of things that don't look like a scene from that "LSD: It Will Make You Try To Fly Out A Window" movie from ninth-grade health class, a tripod is absolutely necessary. I forgot my tripod. This was the best shot I got from lying on a metal picnic table. I went home with a criss-cross pattern on my face and the firm resolution that I would never leave my tripod at home again.

Okay, those shots I took Wednesday night. On Thursday night, my friend Jason had a gig playing drums down in Augusta at The Renaissance Pub. I tagged along, drank some sodas and took some pictures.



Ah, yes…the obligatory rear-view mirror shot. A sneaky self-portrait, plus a shot of my cool camera and…er, well, a crappy roadside sign. And The Royal Inn.

Okay, not actually very impressive. But you can totally read the "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" blurb. On the full-resolution version. Not this one.

Moving on:



Somebody who presumably works at The Renaissance Pub was doing figure sketches between strenuous bouts of mopping. I like that.



While Jason was assembling his drums, I fell in love with this blurry little lamp/sofa vignette. Actually, the sofa wasn't blurry in-and-of-itself; remember when I said I'd never leave my tripod at home again? I left my tripod at home. Again. Please keep that in mind when we get to some of the other shots.



Ah, neon. Sweet, sweet
Neon. You always look so
Neat. How I love you.







I give you the performance! With no tripod and a predilection for using slow shutter speeds, I quickly found that people were impossible to keep in focus. Being adaptable, I decided I'd hold very still and make sure objects like chairs, lamps and pool tables were in focus, and to hell with the people. Of the countless pictures I took, these are the least offensive to the eyes. And the people I was ostensibly taking pictures of.

Tell me those green lamps don't look great, though.

So, there's my adventure in amateur-photographic n00bery. Tonight, while shooting at the park, I discovered that my camera has an "ISO" setting. I'm not sure what that means, but I know what it does: when you crank it all the way up, it makes previously pitch-black shots much brighter. It also makes things grainy and crappy looking. However, I'll be checking it out on my next outing.