I just noticed something…

…take away one lowercase L from Palin, and you've got Pain.

And I'm sure some conservatives somewhere have made the same connection I have and are crowing about Sarah Palin's speech this evening. "Oh," they are shouting, "man, did she ever lay in to him! Palin brought the pain!"

I then imagine them high-fiving each other. Perhaps they hop up into the air for a jockish belly-bump.

I don't know, maybe I'm a kinder and gentler person, but I was kind of hoping that things wouldn't get quite this caustic quite this quickly. I was kind of hoping the overall tone of respect for one's enemies I caught from the Democratic National Convention would carry over into the Republican National Convention and, from there, into the general election. Since I have, up until this point, respected the four principals involved for being either groundbreaking in their uniqueness or steadfast and sincere in their views, I was kind of hoping this election would take the high road.

Call me an idealist or a hopeless romantic, if you will, but I thought it just might happen.

But, you know, when politicians get smug, sarcastic and self-righteous, publicly attacking a guy who took a potentially lucrative Harvard education and parlayed it into a life of fairly humble public service; when these blunt and bombastic blowhards refuse to recognize that eloquence, politeness and tact require huge amounts of thought, not to mention dignity, self-possession and diplomacy; and when thousands of responsible citizens stand up and cheer for what amounts to froth-flecked rage and resentment beaded like water on a freshly waxed antique car parked off to the side of a starship set for lift-off, well, that pains me.

I mean, seriously, consider this my friends.

See that guy there, shaking hands with George W. Bush? That's John McCain at the 2000 Republican National Convention. Do you remember the 2000 primary battles? The lying smear campaign leveled against John McCain in 2000's South Carolina primary? Do you remember how ugly it was?

Do you remember John McCain coming out at the end of the Republican National Convention, his pained rictus of a grin as George W. Bush was smugly and unselfconciously named the Republican presidential candidate? The quintessential empty suit took the nomination from the party of Abraham Lincoln while the one Republican with the stones to buck the party line sat on a stick of butter, grabbed his knees, thought of Old Glory while humming "The Star-Spangled Banner" and set his calendar for 2008.

That's right, I said it, folks: Eight years ago, John McCain sat down in a smoke-filled room in Philadelphia (my fair city) and made a Faustian deal with the Republican powers that be. "Eat it and smile," they said, "and we'll see what we can do for you in 2008."

And John McCain rounded up his maverick thoughts, gelded them, branded them and put them out to pasture.

And not a damn thing has changed since then. John McCain is getting precisely what is due to him, by his own measurement. The Straight Talk Express has gone into evasive action, and the senator from Arizona doesn't care what he has to do to assume the position he feels he's earned.

If you have any doubts—and I can see how you might, but when the mighty fall, they invariably fall long and hard—listen to how some conservatives are taking Ms. Pain's nomination as vice president:

Oops. "Cynical" and "gimmicky."

Obama may be earnest, that's true. And it may be an earnestness that grates on some of y'all's nerves; I've been there and I can understand that position. But when other people who ostensibly share your beliefs begin to refer to you as cynical and gimmicky?

Well, you know, you may just have gone beyond the pale.

San Francisco parts 3 and 4 are coming, folks. I promise. Despite what you may be thinking after part 2, they have a happy ending.

Because ain't nothin' gonna bring me down. :)