Cruise 'is Christ' of Scientology
A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.This will happen shortly after future generations realize that Tom Cruise was gay. The question is, will Tom realize this in his current generation?
“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”
Obviously, I'm pretty comfortable with libel, but not so much with plagiarism. So, please, allow me to thank Peter Sagal over at NPR's "Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!" for coining "Cruisemas" on this week's show. However, all opinions concerning Mr. Cruise's sexual-orientation have nothing to do with Mr. Sagal's satire and belong solely to me. I feel justified in my opinions about Tom Cruise's homosexuality—couch jumping and babe-beguiling and silent births aside—because I've seen a few of his movies and…well, I have fucking eyes!
On a more serious note: if you are a current, practicing member of the Church of Scientology, get out! Please! I guarantee you that you have friends and family and loved ones who are very worried about you and would very much like you to come home. If they haven't said anything to you about this worry, that does not mean they think you've made the right choice. If they have said something to you, they are not "merely envious" of your path—they are terrified that, should they say anything more to you, you'll get pissed off and become a Sea Org zombie in retaliation, completely dropping out of their lives and off the face of the planet in the process. Don't become another body in Scientology's foundations. Get out! Please!
Look, I'm not saying to go to some other church; spiritual paths are as varied as the footprints that mark them. Whether you take the path of the world or the path of asceticism, never forget that the path to enlightenment is not a toll road. Never let anyone charge you to do you a favor! At the very worst, enlightenment should be available for free checkout from a public library. At best, it should be given freely by someone who freely loves you.
I'm sorry for running my thoughts through the "Maximum Hyperbole" machine, folks. It's just that this is something I should've said years ago to one specific person. Like most failures, I'm saying it too late and as a generalization.
That doesn't lessen the truth of what I'm saying. Even if it is a case of better never than late.
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Fair warning, if you take my birthday and associate it with anything Cruisey or Scientology (?) I will do my best to repay you in kind. I have personally insulted numerous Scientologists who decided my glare wasn't enough to stop them from asking if I wanted a 'personality test.' - Note, I do not loiter around Scientologists waiting for them to pester me-I work near one of their headquarters. C in DC
Ah, C., you share a birthday with Tom Cruise!
Luckily, that's all you share with him.
I'm sorry, O. I'd like to not have the security option on for comments, but if I leave it off my comment boxes fill up with links to mortgage sites and penis enlargement spam. Not that there's anything wrong with mortgages and big penises, mind you, they just don't add much in terms of conversation.
I wish I'd gotten to read your witty comment, though. I bet it was good! :)
no worries, dude, I think it is more important that you get NO spam and whatnot. I was just bummed out.
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