Who the heck is Bernard Jenkins?

The obligatory Friday iPod Shuffle…

1. "Parabol" - Tool
2. "It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Death Wish" - My Chemical Romance
3. "Bernard Jenkins" - John Mayall
4. "Midlife Crisis" - Faith No More
5. "Wasted Years" - Iron Maiden
6. "Breadfan" - Metallica
7. "Song for the Dumped" - Ben Folds Five
8. "War On War" - Wilco
9. "Gimme Three Steps" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
10. "Lawyers, Guns And Money" - Warren Zevon
11. "Blue Collar Suicide" - The Refreshments
12. "At Least That's What You Said" - Wilco
13. "A Shot In The Arm" - Wilco
14. "Holla!" - G. Love
15. "Free" - G. Love

…got me thinking "Who the heck is Bernard Jenkins?"

Initially, I just googled the name to see what came up but, before I even started clicking links, I decided that the reality wouldn't be as interesting as I'd like. So, acting as a sort of modern musical haruspex, I used the random songs to piece together this weird semi-story about a thirty-something man separated from his wife, Linda Lou. Bernard, depressed by his loss and overwhelmed by his life's meaninglessness, takes a prodigious and suicidal amount of drugs. Under the influence of these drugs, he hallucinates an entirely new life for himself, one in which he is a dangerous and shady agent working for forces not even he understands. Blending into this new-found—and infinitely more exciting and satisfying—fantasy life are memories of his beloved wife, her return to him in his near-comatose yet wild-eyed state, her attempts to save him, their reconciliation and—as he rants about her obligation to avenge his death and chants about his imminent resurrection—his ultimate demise. These memories and experiences may be real, or they may simply be further hallucinations: his unconscious mind attempting to tie everything up into a satisfyingly tragic-yet-happy package.

(I listen to strangely depressing music, sometimes, don't I? Also, I've been reading a lot of Philip K. Dick lately. Y'all can tell, can't you?)

It's an oddly compelling little tale, and I'd write it down right now if I had the time. But, honestly, today's my day off and I have a lot to do: haircut, groceries, bill-paying, apartment cleaning and, later on this evening, a night out with my brother and a friend of his from when we lived in Rota. So, instead, I've linked the lyrics (with the exception of the two G. Love songs—seemingly there are no reliable transcriptions of those lyrics on the internet yet) so that you guys can read them and, should you wish, write your own stories.

Have fun!