Navidad en soledad

So, what with me working retail and being required to be in the store on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, and with my brother, his wife and son spending the holidays in Puerto Rico, I am looking at my first, truly solitary Christmas ever. Now, this is not a plea for sympathy: I work retail, folks, and by the time Christmas actually rolls around I'll be so sick of people that, honestly, I'm looking forward to celebrating solitude on Christmas. After all, I have my cell phone and have warned all my friends that they can expect calls from me. On top of that, I have plans, my friends, wonderful plans!

Now, one of the things I've always loved about the holidays is the food. Of course, being a bachelor (and essentially lazy, to boot) I don't really cook for myself very often. Oh, sure, I'll do my "Trailer Trash Soul Food" (Shake 'n' Bake chicken legs, canned Glory greens and boxed macaroni & cheese) or "Aide D'Hamburger du Jour", but stuff that requires slicing and marinating and chopping and tasting and, in general, anything more complex than "stirring occasionally"? Nope. No time. No inclination. Not enough mouths to feed. Too much effort.

Well, not this Christmas! I am feasting, feasting, feasting this year, spending every moment eating, drinking and being merry. And yup, that includes breakfast, which is rarely more complicated than a granola bar and coffee. I am also watching lots of movies and relaxing.

So, in keeping with the feast spirit of my upcoming holiday, here's what I have on the menu:

CHRISTMAS EVE:

Christmas Eve has, traditionally, never been a very big deal. Usually we watched old-school Christmas specials and ate fast food or whatever. So, in keeping with that tradition:

• Entrée: Microwavable White Castle Cheeseburgers;
• Potato Dish: Tater Tots;
• Vegetable Dish: Er...well, maybe I'll put some onions & pickles on the cheeseburgers;
• Beverage: Pabst Blue Ribbon beer;
• Entertainment: The Nightmare Before Christmas; "Futurama", Volume Two, Disc Four; whatever old-school Christmas specials are on the tube.

CHRISTMAS DAY:

Breakfast

• Entrée: Maple Walnut Danish;
• Vegetable Dish: Grapefruit;
• Beverage: Foglifter coffee, brewed strong—about a pot or so;
• Entertainment: Various Christmas music; phone calls to family; maybe whatever Christmas parades are on the tube.

Lunch
Lunch will be something of a rolling affair, snacky in nature and meant to be consumed at my leisure.

• Entrée: Beef summer sausage & sharp cheddar cheese, served on Triscuits;
• Vegetable Dish: Crudités of broccoli, baby carrots and cauliflower served with blue cheese dip;
• Beverage: Either hard cider or Guinness: I'm still weighing my options/finances;
• Entertainment: Purple Rain; What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?; Slacker; Rushmore.

Dinner

• Entrée: London Broil;
• Potato Dish: Garlic mashed potatoes;
• Vegetable Dish: Broccoli with white cheddar sauce;
• Beverage: Yellow Tail Shiraz, 2005
• Dessert: New York style cheesecake (!);
• Entertainment: Phone calls to friends; any of the above-listed movies I haven't gotten around to; possibly the football game.

With the exception of the hard cider (or Guinness), the cheeseburgers and the tater tots, I went out and bought all the food today. I'll do the rest of my shopping tomorrow night. So, essentially I'm all set.

Sounds like a good day, eh? I'm looking forward to it. My Christmas is going to be the model of peace and, if not harmony, at least melody. And I can't ask for anything more than that.

I just need to get through these last couple shopping days. Wish me luck!